Break down those barriers:
When it comes to change. There isn't a person on this planet who doesn't have something that can potentially hold them back.
I don't care how much money someone has, how positive someone is, or how much confidence they have. Something will be present that can have a negative impact on their ability to change.
For me, I'm a huge "what if" person.
"What if I can't afford to".
"What if I don't like it".
While I am much more open minded now, and susceptible to change these barriers still exist within my mind and I can recall a number of circumstances where I have turned down varied opportunities due to a "What if" factor.
Have a think, close your eyes and search inside your mind. What barriers do you put in place that stop you from making positive change?
Our brains love keeping us the same, same is comfort, same is safe. And our minds love being safe.
But. It is only when you push outside of that comfort zone, that incredible things happen. When you achieve things you never thought you could do. When you push for that new job and get it.
This blog will look at the barriers that may exist in your life, and explain ways to overcome them!
Let's make some positive change!
1: The excuse:
We all know that person, you may even be that person. Someone who always has an excuse for why they cannot. Trust me. As a coach I come across this behaviour a hell of a lot. When it comes to dealing with people who make excuses. You have to be careful, as the first reaction in a lot of people will be to brush it off as a simple excuse and say something like "get up earlier" to someone who says they don't have the time to add something into their day.
I will tell you straight away. This doesn't work. Studies show that when a behavioural change is forced upon someone, they are more likely to push back.
The classic case of this is the couple, one of them really likes healthy eating and one doesn't. The conversation around the dinner table is usually the healthy eater saying things like "Just try some of this" or "I wish you would just try and be healthier".
This often creates a rebellious response where the person on the receiving end will retract further into their refusal to "co-operate".
Quite often the best way to deal with people who make excuses is to lead by example:
Here is an example:
For a long time, I have been so closed minded to things like going in the sea, cold water swimming etc. As I have no interest in getting in cold water. However, I have listened to a number of people I work with, and my partner who love being in the water. I noted how much of a benefit they get from doing this and gradually got more and more tempted to try it, and now I love it!
So, how do you deal with excuses personally?
Think about something you want to achieve, this could be something as small as getting up earlier or running a marathon.
Now, look at your social media sources and places you currently receive inspiration?
Are they geared towards this? Or is your social media feed full of people sleeping in, talking about their love of the snooze button etc.
Do you read about the benefits and the positive stories that are a result of that thing you "don't have time" for? If not, START!
The information you take in feeds your brain just as food feeds your body.
Feed it the right information and you will begin to forget the excuses and remember the achievements.
2: The what if?
Sometimes people who are unhappy with something in their life put up with it, until it gets taken away from then. Then all of a sudden act surprised when they feel better months down the line.
Job's they are unhappy with, relationships that are going nowhere are two examples of this.
The what if is something that I suffer from. and am working to put an end too.
One of the things that has really helped me break through these barriers is the tool of visualisation. This comes in a variety of forms, for some it's meditation. Some people like to plan an action board and some like to write their goals in a book.
Whatever works for you, just dedicate some time to visualising your goals. This will create a sense of excitement around them and make them feeling within reach. You will feel like it is something you are heading towards rather than something you would like, and by generating this feeling. This what if's a more likely to disappear and be replaced with actions that you must take to achieve the goal you have.
Developing confidence is incredibly individual. And to people who lack confidence it can be easy to look at others who are seemingly confident and feel envious.
Now, let me tell you. Those people will have areas of poor confidence.
Some people are incredibly knowledgeable but struggle to make their voice heard for fear of being called out.
Some people are incredible bike handlers, but daren't race, even though they would like to as they feel like they will be too slow.
So how do you break through that barrier and think "sod it". I'm going to do it.
Three key words:
1: Help: Developing confidence is something that you 100% must receive help in from someone who has experience in developing confidence in the areas you are lacking. MTB skills coaching, Speech therapy, and time management coaches are three things that spring to mind here. Even speaking to people you know who are confident in areas you are not can be of help.
2: Empathy: Make sure the people you talk to, and confide with have been where you are and can empathise with this. I am a firm believer in coaches walking the walk. As there is only one way to truly understand how someone feels. And that is to have walked in their shoes.
3: Consistency: Once you have developed healthy habits that make you more confident, keep them up. How many people do you know who lost weight by improving their eating, and then reverted back to a crap diet once they had reached a target number? I bet I can guess what happened.
And remember: "Confidence is never consistent, but the key to confidence is consistency".
I hope you have found the information in this blog useful, and helpful when it comes to breaking down the barriers you have. As always, if you do need any help with this. Click the button below, or. If you know anyone who may need help, click the other button to refer a friend.
Have a great day.